The Weekend

Greetings travellers..
..and how’s your weekend going?

Mine’s been pretty good so far considering…

Considering…? Considering what?!

Well – considering that I am
a) (STILL) super skint
b) Without my mobile phone.

a) is down to the fact that no matter how many times I call my last job and give them my new address details they still insist on sending my last bit of cash to my old flat. …and not only did they send it there, but they also sent a cheque. Which means that I have to wait another week before I can get my hands on it! AARGH!

b) I’d rather not talk about it. Bit of a sore point. Grr….

Lets not talk about what I didnt do eh?! Lets talk about what I DID do!

So yeah…

Friday at work I’m in a bit of a tizz.
My mobile phone had just gone up the spout and I had to email everyone to tell them and stuff..
But then there’s the select few who I talk to who aren’t as tech’d up as to have an email address yet…

(I know – shocking isn’t it?)

…so there I was trying to let everyone know that even though you cant actually get me on my usual number:
I am alive and I am available this weekend for fun and giggles etc… Bah.

Well – the usual suspects didnt get back to me –
I would go off on one about how crap some of my friends have been lately but to be quite honest:

a) Its bad for the spirit &
b) I’d rather spend my time explaining how great some my other friends have been.

There’s a lesson there folks.
Care about those who care about you.
Dont get upset about those who dont.
Just focus on those that do.
Your life will be a happier place.

Moving on, before we get too deep…

I got a random email from my friend Roger…
(if you want to see her, check my last but one blog – there’s a photo there – she’s cool)
…explaining about this crazy Brazilian carnival thing happening up in Angel on Saturday afternoon…
I dont actually think I was supposed to get the email originally…
(it was entitled – ‘afternoon ladies’ – lol)
…but I’m glad Nomi (Roger aka Naomi aka Nomi) put me in the ‘cc list’ –
I think it was the free samba lessons that made her do it.. Hahaha..
But yeah – this is the thing here:

Nomi works for the Sadlers Wells Theatre see and she was going to be working on the day organising stuff and stuff… so yeah.
I emailed Roger and took the mick for her calling me a lady etc..
..and she ended up inviting me over to her and Aidan’s place for vino… which was cool.

Friday pre-nomi = No Plans
Friday post-nomi = Plans

So Yay Nomi!
Finished work about 6ish, got meself over to their cool place in Clapham and got on the Rose… .
We tend to eat and drink lots, play xbox and then hurl abuse at passers-by from their fifth floor balcony..
Sounds puerile but it is a LOT of fun…
Hahaha – so thats what we did! Nomi did stir fry and it was lush.

Was all cool… left there about tennish, feeling totally knackered and just wanting my bed.
Hit Twickenham about 2245, walked down into Twickenham High St and bumped into my mate Burns and his mate Zee. They were batfaced. Absolutely plastered…

“Alright Schlag – where you been?! Fancy coming to the Patch?”

That’s my mate Steve.

“Nah mate, I’m skint. No can do.”

“Ahh shutup, there’s £40, get yourself home and changed, we’ll meet you in there in half hour..”


Haha, jumped on a bus home, got changed, jumped on a bus back into Twickenham and Patched it up for the rest if the night with Zee & Steve…

My other mate Hodge turned up randomly at about midnight too (he of Bon Jovi fame – see my Bon Jovi blog – thats him) – so we all got bang on it and had a great night.
The Patch by the way, as you may’ve gathered, is Twickenham’s only club.
Its not brilliant but its cheesy as hell and you can walk home afterwards.
Check it:

Hahah – I’ve never seen that site before:
“Let our wonderfully versatile DJs effortlessly lead a sparky mix of jazz, funk, disco, dance & soul”

Lol – Brilliant – If you’ve ever been to ‘Le Patch’ then you’ll know exactly why that’s so funny… Hahaha…

Woke up Saturday morning. Feeling fine, no hangover whatsoever.
Hmm – might have something to do with being sick the night before but hey, we wont talk about that eh?
(Stir Fry, Seven Blue WKDs, Jigging = Badness)

Burns rang me about eleven ish and we hooked up to play some frisbee over on Twickenham Green, (I do like a bit of frisbee) while we waited for Hodge to get in touch.

FYI – The previous night I’d managed to convince the two Steves (Hodge & Burns) to join my on my trip to Rio (in Angel – Hehe).
Which they did!
Here we are, up in Angel, getting on it on cheap and nasty Vodka at a Brazilian Carnival:

Burns, Hodge and Me.

Lots of fun, man there was some random shizzle in that carnival…
Here’s a quick selection of the more random photos I took:

More Vodka!

So yeah… Kept buying various soft drinks so we could ‘just add vodka’.
My personal favourite being Mango Smoothie Vodka:

Haha – was well on it by the time we met up with Nomi for post carnival drinks.
All good…



Anywhoo –
After that, the two Steves and I travelled down to Fulham to go to this funky little bar called Cactus Blue.
It was my boss’ engagement party and she’d invited me the day before..
Really nice cool little place man – have to go out in Fulham more often.
But yeah – Got on the Mojitos… Hehehe.. Nice..
Spent an hour or so there…
Drinking and mingling et al…
..and then headed back to Twix for more drinks in the Up’n’Under…
(in particular – sambucas, for some reason)

…and then surprise surprise!
We ended up BACK IN THE PATCH!

Two nights on the trot.
That is:



But we ended up having a better night then Friday mind, music was better and stuff… and MAN did I dance!
I havent let rip like that in ages… fantastic.
…just a shame there was too many rugger-buggers in there eh?
Needless to say – we were hammered…

Got home about 3ish…

Well that’s today.
So far – I’ve done sweet FA. Which is good.
Havent done ‘nothing’ for ages.
Might do some washing in a bit – its an exciting life aint it?!
I am however going to see Superman Returns at the IMAX later with my mate Louisa.

Cant. Wait.
I’ll take some pics if I can… its gonna ROCK.

But…before I sign off I need to say something:

Folks. I am truly blessed with some great friends.
The last few months of my life have been tough for various reasons.
Lately, mainly financially… but before that there was a whole heap of other crap going on in my life.
My friends have been there for me every step of the way and without them, I doubt I’d be the person that I am sitting here today.

So.. Here’s to you my friends.

Thank you – your generosity and kindness will not be forgotten easily and I hope I can be there for you all one day as you have been for me.

…and on that note folks:
With a smile on my face, I’m gonna sign off.

Next time on “Whatley’s World”:

– Exactly how good is Superman Returns and does making 20mins of it 3D improve it somehow?

– Week 3 in his new job. How is it going?

– Pay day. At last.

– Looking forward to the next weekend.

So.. until then…


Yup – its been ages I know

My life in as little words and as many pics as poss.. ya ready?!

Here we go!

Last time we spoke I had spent the weekend in Canvey mildly drunk.
Here I am. Mildly drunk.

I went back to work after all that time off..
..and I went in thinking it was gonna be sunny..

But.. it wasnt:

It was rainin’..
Ah well..

That week it was Jobber’s birthday – we went to the pub:
Jobber and his mate Wing (more on him later), outside the pub…

He’s a good bloke our Jobs… that’s him on the right.
Gonna miss him from the Mail.. admittedly probably JUST him.

Moving on..

The weekend after that: England got knocked out of the World Cup.
It might’ve been the weekend before –
I really cant remember –
My days are swirling together through a mist of champagne and white wine..
Either way – Boooo.. England went out.
We don’t talk about who won it or whatever because nobody cares.
In all seriousness this World Cup will go down as the Cup of Cheats as SO many teams employed under-hand techniques on their road to the finals..



I watched our last game with my mate Jim.
..and here we are:

We are drunk.

..and don’t ask about the sombreros.
I have no idea.

The following day I went to my see friends Roger and Aidan..
They live in this proper nice penthouse apartment overlooking Clapham Common..
The lifts are a bit old and scary mind..
Here I am, in a lift, a bit scared:

So yeah – that was cool.. the corridors are bit ‘Overlook Hotel’ too..
I keep expecting to see a kid on a tricycle screaming “Redrum.. Redrum..” at me… ahem.

But yeah – had a g-r-r-reat time. Roger did some fantastic food.
They’d been down to the farmer’s market in Balham that morning and got some lush veg..
..and we spent the rest of the day yelling obscenities to passers by..
(that was actually the most puerile fun I’ve had in ages – hehe)

Ooo oo oo!
I forgot!

The Friday before that..
My friend Vicky took me out to the ‘Che’ Exhibition at the V&A Museum.
The V&A:

It was SO cool… They had a big celebration of all things Cuban and there was food and dancing and Mojitos… oh how we love Mojitos…
I don’t know much about Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara..
Here he is:

Or in fact I should now say.. I didnt know much about him.
The exhibition was wicked – REALLY interesting man..
The guy’s a legend and it’s amazing how his image has grown in the way it has considering this pic was a complete fluke..
Amazing stuff.
So yeah – Vicky took me out to dinner afterwards to a place called The Priory in Olympia.
It was lush and we had SUCH a nice evening just chattin’ y’know?
Was cool.
Tors – if you’re readin’ this – I owe ya!

Anywhoo – where was I?
That’s right Sunday at Roger and Aidan’s.
That was cool – called a few people a few names and then went on my merry way home..

Monday – back to work.

But – It was the final leg of my three year stint at the Mail.
The week kind of happened without incident…
Well – aside from The Wing (remember him?) wearing this disgusting shirt…

Talk about Ocular Rapage.
(and yes – that’s Jobber again.. WORKING! Shock Horror!)

THIS is how you look good at work:

Urinals and all.. lol

Anyway… My last week at work..!

It was cool..
Unsurprisingly I got hammered on my last day.. about two bottles of red wine at lunch.
Probably the best part of a bottle of champagne in the afternoon and then..
God knows how much white wine at the pub afterwards..

But yeah – these are my girls:

Christina, Laura and Louisa… lovely they all are too.
See ya girls – nice workin’ with ya.. Bless ’em.

Apparently they were at my leaving drinks..
But I REALLY dont remember…
Apparently I may’ve embarrassed a few people – I’m sure I’ll hear about it all eventually.. lol

Ah well…


What I do remember (and this would be pretty damn hard to forget) is what my lot bought me for a leaving present..
Check it out!

A nice shiny shiny Nintendo DS Lite.. “Ooooooooooo…”

Yeah man! Awesome –
I am proper impressed..

Anywhoo… my mate Laws came over that night.
Came to my party and everything – it was cool.
She’s a good girl she is – helped me get home!
(dont remember that either – apparently I made us get on the wrong tube but I dont believe her – you hear that Laws?! You tell fibs woman!)

So yeah – the following day my mate Martin threw me a champagne breakfast picnic on Twickenham Green.. it was brill.
Me, Laws, Roger, Aidan, Martin and his girlfriend Lyddy all went…
Here we all are:

Laws & Martin, Martin & Lydia,
Lydia & Adian, Aidan & Roger,
Roger & Me, Me & ….a big church!

But yeah.. the picnic was wicked – Martin made all the food himself and we got hammered… again! I think I didnt really have a hangover per se.. I just carried on drinking from the previous night.. lol
Anywhoo – so we’re all sittin there and Martin says:

“Dudes! Check it out! Pac-Man!”

We had a bit of a chuckle about that.. but THEN.. Martin says:

“Weergh! Those poor ghosts! No wonder those f**kers run! Look at him from the front!”

I laughed so hard… Hahaha.. One of the funniest dudes I know, is Martin.
Love him to bits..

So yeah – after our AMAZING picnic:

Laws and I headed back to Canvey to catch with friends and family.
It was all good.

Had a wicked night on the Isle of Canvey then headed back to Sunny Twickenham..
(not much of a story there I know – but I was out of it and I really dont remember much)

Back in Twix – I thought i’d get an early night..
Right up until I decided to move my room around…
You ever get that?!

Just me then..

Ach well..
At least I have a proper cool desk now:

Yes true believers – that is where yours truly sits when he is recounting his stories to you…

Nice huh?
I think so.. makes life online a lot more enjoyable..

Moving on…

Started at my new job Monday.
All good.

I now work for a company called Refresh Mobile –

They make things called Mobizines –

Its absolutely wicked.
I love it.

The hours are longer – but to be honest – I only noticed that on the first day when I didnt really know what I was doing.. since then – its been cool.
Non-stop. In fact im doin more hours than I should be…
I love it…

Today is Thursday.
Well – its now Friday because its gone midnight – started this blog ages ago.

I’m shattered….


PS – Ooo! Check this out!
Its Me and Martin!
Aidan did it for us..

How cool is THAT?!

I love it..
In fact – you can tell I love it because i’ve got a printed copy of it above my desk…

My friend Naomi (we call her Roger – she’s Aidan’s girlfriend) says we look like some kind of twisted parallel universe version of Miami Vice..


Good morning one and all – I’m really crap.

I keep going to update this place.. and then something distracts me!


In the meantime however – here’s some pics of me and my bro in Gibraltar!


His name is Stephen Arthur James Whatley, he’s six years old, he’s ginger and he means business..

My bro’s gonna be a little heartbreaker..!

One more?

Oh ok then..


I love my brother. He’s awesome.

I’ll type up some stuff later – but yeah – Stephen’s one of the main reason’s I go to Gibraltar..


Hahah – see what I did there? He Rocks?!
Yeah? in The Rock of Gibraltar?!
I know.. Hahahaha.. Brilliant.

Jon Bon Jovi… eh?!


So let’s get one thing clear – I am not a Bon Jovi fan…


If someone offers you one of these…

..for nothing..

Its VERY difficult to say no.

Not only that but the tickets were Gold VIP Inner Circle too..

So yeah..

My mate Steve mentioned that he might go the other night.. he said he had these tickets and he wasnt fussed either way – but his mate Mike was going with his bird and he was gonna jump in their car with them.. I said I’d go too if there was a spare ticket.. Turns out there was a spare ticket but Mike had already agreed to take more people in his car.. so me and Steve said dont worry about it..

Fast forward to 3pm this afternoon and I’m walking back into Twickenham and I get a phone call from Steve..

“Oi Whatley – you fancy Bon Jovi?”

“I thought Mike had gone already.. ?”

“He has. He left at 11am this morning.. nutcase.. but yeah – figured these tickets are worth at least a ton so we should use ’em really.. we got backstage passes too.. So I’m thinkin’, fuck it, lets just jump in the car and go eh?”

“Mate – I’M ALL OVER IT!”

So off we went.. made good time too.. God knows why Mike left so early. We got there and we caught the first couple of Nickelback songs (they were supporting) then we hung out in the VIP tent for a bit and then went and joined the party in the ‘inner circle’ …


So yeah – random as hell but a great way to spend a Sunday evening!

I’m shattered now mind.. been a long day.

So I’m gonna go to bed.. and sleep.