This morning, my phone died.
The screen has broken…
The phone is no more!
It has ceased to be!
It has expired and gone to meet his maker!
It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If I hadn’t nailed it to my hand it’d be pushing up the daisies!
It’s metabolic processes are now history!
It’s off the twig! It’s kicked the bucket, its shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!
THIS IS AN EX-PHONE!