this is my happy place
There is a __ layer of thickness;
.a coating of caffeine.
//swim/ming in stodge; a heaviness –
Like wading through the swamps at the bottom of a giant cafetiere,
sticky in the rich – gooey mud of frustration.
The goodness is gone, t, h, e, r, e, -/ Â is only sludge.
Residue.Â
– Sept 27th, 2012
Moleskine entry: September 18th, 2009
Six hours ago I was landing at London Gatwick, fresh from the Lucozade Challenge of Yacht Racing around the Caribbean. Now, as I write, I’m on a flight back out to New York (from London Heathrow mind, that was interesting) with my darling girlfriend and I am happy. Tired. Exhausted. Travel weary. But ultimately, for the first time in such a long time, truly happy.
You might scoff if I were to tell you “it’s been a long, hard summer” given the adventures I’ve been on, the places I’ve seen and the things that I’ve done but really, as much as all that that has been awesome, it’s the bits inbetween that have been hardest.
Being away from home every other week for just shy of ten weeks creates a strange instability around things. Plans are harder to make, promises harder to keep. A constant state flux one might say.
Not counting the stress and strains that places on any kind of loving relationship, there was the whole work mess to deal with too. Halfway through the challenges, all that additional…. worry was not helping the situation at all. The time I was actually at home, I was spending the whole time working. Leaving me tired. So so tired.
Rest soon. And sleep. Sleep, beckoning so sweetly.
Sleeeeeep.
It’s been OVER A MONTH since my last blog…
It is now 23:03 and I’ve just got home and I am shattered.
SO tired…
I’ve been meaning to update this for ages now – and I promise.. I will.
Good boys keep diaries.
Bad boys don’t get time.
That’s all you need to know for the time being I guess…
I’m doing two plays, a film, I’ve started doing charity stuff again and I’m trying to hold down a decent social life whilst also taking in the wonders of the new world that is known as ‘dating’ – it’s all very odd.
Jen and I are no more – not that there ever was an official ‘Jen and I’ but yeah – that happened a fair while back now..
So that’s that sorted – we’re still very much in contact though – she’s a top bird and we always said we’d remain firm friends – so I’m glad we’ve been able to..
Cheers you.
Anyway – enough about her.. Hehehe (sorry)
What have I been up to?!
WELL…
LOADS to be fair.
There’s nowhere near enough time to cram it all into one sesh – I’m shattered – NEED BED.
Quickly – I’ve rediscovered my love for clubbing/dancing.
I’ve got into the habit of not wearing underwear. At all times.
I have blonde in my hair.
I have some wicked plans for November.
I’ve discovered my uncle plays the bassoon in some weird band in Essex.
All very weird.
Also – one of those sentences is not true..
Answers via comments/messages to the usual address… ;o)
But yes.
Loving my job.
Loving my life at the mo.
Working hard and playing hard.
Catching up with me a bit now…
“HENCE THE NEED FOR SLEEP JAMES!”
..note to self – stop leaving notes for self.
Ahem – anywhoo – I’m signing off now.
I hope to come back with a (proper) update very soon..
In the meantime however..
Here’s me:
To quote:
“It’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses”
(what film?)
On that note: My Sunglasses… Too small do you think?
03:04 – Forgive me Father…
Current mood: Shattered
…I have sinned.
“My candle’s burning at both ends
It will not last the night.
But Oh my foes, and Ah my friends
It sheds a lovely light.”
It has been over a week since my last blog.
I promised myself I wouldn’t leave it this long again.
I’ll try and update tonight.
Promise.
Been working and playing far too hard for my own good.
But more to come on that… Later*.
In the meantime…
To make you smile.
Here’s a donkey.
In a boat.
*maybe tonight… but it could well be tomorrow.
I’m shattered.