What now?

Moleskine entry: March 16th, 2010

A strange sense of calm is over me… and I can’t quite work out if I like it. Last year I had my fair share of luck and it’s still keeping me smiling.

I’ve hit 30 and I’m happy about it. What happens next however? I’m not so sure. Marriage and children should be on the cards and, to a very large extent, they are. I’ve been looking forward to fatherhood for some years now. One might argue since my little brother was born. But I think in reality, it’s more since meeting someone who really could be the future mother of my children that the feeling, the broody feeling, really came over me. I can’t wait to be a Dad.

But.

Something is holding me back. Right now, for the first time in such a long time, I am truly happy. I have stability. A great job, a warm home and a beautiful girlfriend whom I adore… and right now? I just want to enjoy them.

I’ve never been here before and I quite like it. I’ve been through pain, I’ve been through sadness and, today in my life, I have happiness. Good friends, good life, just goodness.

I just want to enjoy it for a bit, is that so bad?

___________________

I’m in Washington D.C. and this is the final entry in my first Moleskine.
Onwards.

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2 thoughts on “What now?”

  1. Your girlfriend herself sounds awesome, but she is one lucky girl. You are literally one in a million. I hope to meet my own Whatley Dude what day. Haha.

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